new game "corrupt a wish"

[ErrantFan]

That's fine! I already hear voices murmuring "kill them all" all the time, anyway!

Your wish has been granted! You are now uploading webcomics on a daily basis. But, it's only because Concussion is now perpetually buzzing around your head and threatening to flatten you with her hammer unless you post regularly.

I wish that I was gifted with artistic talent!

[Graybeard]

Easily done, and to aid you in getting started with your new-found talent, some German friends send you a gift of potter's clay. However, when they mixed up the clay, they didn't realize that Gift has a different meaning in German than in English, so when you lay your hands on the Stoff, er, stuff ...

I wish the world's major religions would get together and decide that, instead of arguing about who is right, they will cooperate to solve the world's problems.

(Incidentally, I had a particular corruption in mind when I wrote that one, and will be interested in seeing how it compares to what the "solver" finds.)

[ErrantFan]

Wish granted!

All of the world's major religions gather together to reach a consensus about the source of all problems in the world. After thorough deliberation, they finally reach a conclusion: The source of all the world's problems is evil, and the solution is to exterminate evil. An objective definition of "evil" is agreed upon, and all humans on earth are catalogued and then sorted into categories: "good" and "evil". Once the criteria for "who deserves to be exterminated for the good of the human race?" has been determined, the next step is to conduct the largest GENOCIDE! campaign ever carried out in human history, resulting in billions of deaths. In fact, the majority of humans qualify as "evil" and have to be wiped out, which is a very arduous task, but if anyone could pull it off, it would be the combined might of all the world's major religions. Despite the widespread death and bloodshed, the end result is that the world is transformed into a perfect and pure utopia without a single cruel person left on the face of the planet. Hooray!

I wish I had more time in the day to accomplish all the things I want to do!

[Graybeard]

Ouch ... too close to home ...

Easy enough; all you need is incurable insomnia and refusal to eat or drink. After a few days, of course, you collapse from insomnia and dehydration, but until then, just think of it: you have a full 24 hours a day to do stuff in.

So for one that actually has a microscopic chance of being true: I wish there were still at least a dozen breeding pairs of ivory-billed woodpeckers alive in the world. They're probably extinct, and the world just isn't the same without them.

[ErrantFan]

Wish granted! On January 26th, 2022, the IUCN holds a public hearing to announce that there are, in fact, millions of Ivory-billed woodpeckers still in the world. They were hiding in underground shelters, biding their time for decades, building super-weapons to wipe out humanity. The human race goes extinct on January 27th, after our wood-pecking foes emerge from hiding to eradicate us all with horrific weaponry beyond our comprehension.

I wish you'd tell me what particular corruption you had in mind for your previous wish, and how my answer compared!

[Graybeard]

Will do. My imagined corruption, which is similar to yours, was that all of the followers of the world's major religions, enraged that their leaders would get together to work with the heathens/infidels/etc.. would leave those religions to join a previously minor one glorifying war, blood, and ritual human sacrifice.

By the way, to continue the theme, the first human they're coming to sacrifice is you.

I wish healthy foods tasted better.

[ErrantFan]

Wish granted! The taste of food is now directly proportionate to how healthy it is. This means that healthy food tastes absolutely delicious...but everything else in the world that you might have enjoyed eating - chips, donuts, fried chicken - now tastes disgusting.

I wish...Poe or Impy would respond to the thread I made in the Errant Story forum...

[Graybeard]

They've responded, but only to each other in pillow talk. "Why do I have to put up with these whackos? I'm going to quit drawing cartoons and become an insurance salesman." "Yes, dear..." Feel any guilt about that, do you?

I wish there were more satisfactory treatments for arthritis.