CONTEST: What's in the Temple of the Divine Dwarf?

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Graybeard
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CONTEST: What's in the Temple of the Divine Dwarf?

Post by Graybeard »

If you've been following the Volkanenborg thread in "On The Road," you'll notice that the merry crew has been drawn into the "Temple of the Divine Dwarf" in Volkanenborg. In connection with that, here's a small, quick contest for people to have some fun with.

The curator, one "Reverend Hammersmith," is showing the group the temple's collection of "Dwarven Artifacts." An example (a replica rather than the real thing) appears here, couched in descriptive language that may or may not allow the reader to figure out what role the thing is supposed to play. (There is one that everyone here would recognize in the Real World if they saw it in its normal setting, although stripped of context, it would be hard to identify.) The contest is as follows: describe some other dwarven artifact that might appear in the Temple and post it in this thread -- and send me a private message, NOT posted in this thread, saying what the thing really is. The most entertaining artifact will gain its creator a small prize yet to be determined. I'll do the judging (and obviously am ineligible for the prize), possibly with a consult or two from the PTB. The contest is most definitely NOT restricted to current Errant Road players; let your imaginations run riot even if you haven't been playing.

The artifact can be, but need not be, something we'd all recognize from real life. It could also be something specifically dwarven rather than real-world, but if it is, make sure the description is of something plausible from a dwarven point of view. If the description is incredibly florid in describing some thing but the actual identity amounts to "I don't know what this is," it won't score well. Remember that the dwarves were blindingly intelligent and mechanically adept, but entirely non-magical; so should the artifacts be, subject of course to Clarke's Law.

An example, just so that 200 people don't rush to post it since we've all undoubtedly thought of it:

Description (posted in this thread): A dwarf-sized chair or throne, made of some unknown but hard, non-metallic material. Its seat consists of a lid that, when raised, reveals what appears to be a baptismal font. Its back is hollow and contains a spring-loaded contraption of unknown function.

Real identity (PMed to me): (This one's pretty obvious, isn't it? Need I really say what it is?... But the one in the actual story thread is considerably less obvious.)

Let your imaginations run wild, but do it quickly; the contest closes at midnight Wednesday the 19th. Footnote: If you've figured out what someone else's contribution is, please do NOT post it in this thread, at least until after the close of the contest.
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Re: CONTEST: What's in the Temple of the Divine Dwarf?

Post by kaitou »

This item appears to be some sort of "wanted poster" or such. It is a box that has a window with the pictures of two creatures and a picture of a bar of gold in it, apparently something you are supposed to hunt and the reward. There is a club on the right side, presumably for defeating one of the aforementioned creatures, but we can't seem to pull it out of its holder. There is a small basin near the bottom on the front, apparently for alms or some other, unknown reason. We're not sure about the circular dent near the top; it may just be where the box was hit with some round object hard enough to penetrate the skin of the box.
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LordofNightmares
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Re: CONTEST: What's in the Temple of the Divine Dwarf?

Post by LordofNightmares »

As you walk(stumble) in to the Temple the smell of Ale and spirits fill the air in a good way. Above you is an arch with what looks like a rather large War hamer with a rather large stein of Ale carved out of stone. The hammer laying on it's side with the ale right in the center. As you walk past there is a Alms for Ale collection plate, a few wanted posters of different monsters and people (Human, Elf, Errant). As you keep walking admiring the craftsmanship and stone work of the Temple you enter the main room, you are struck with awe as you see a statue of dwarf that is about 20ft high in one hand a War-hammer ready for battle in the other a stein of ale raised up high. And at the feet is a full bar with the head priest a Bald Dwarf with tribal tattoos on his head his beard a deep golden red, looking kindly to his fellow dwarfs as he blesses the first keg of Ale with a prayer in dwarven then he taps the keg poring mug after mug of ale and passes out to his fellow dwarfs. Then walks in a younger dwarf dressed in what seems like ceremonial robes as the priest hands the the young one a mug o ale. The elders and what look to be the younger dwarf's family start to chant and sing as her downs the ale. "Now en laddy ur tem fer manhood ewates, sit down now we got a wee bit of work ta do yet." the priest said as he reached down to pick up an implement for piercing and presided to pierce the young dwarfs nose placing in a nice silver bull ring. The young dwarf looked to be in pain for a few moments then let out a woop sat up and downed an other mug of ale and all to the cheers of the others then he tossed aside his robes with nothing on but a loin cloth and sat back down as an other priest started to tattoo his family tribal tattoo on the young dwarfs chest. For about 1hr and a half this went on and finally finished the young dwarf rose almost weakly grabed another mug of ale and downed it. "From this day forward yer now a man, let us cheer Angus Anvelspark of the Anvelspark clan killer of wabitts, slayer of trolls, now a full man of our people."
A roaring Cheer with the clanking of mugs and steins clashing together filled the air with sound and ale as the now dwarf was dowsed with the rest of the keg.


That is how I see it.
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Re: CONTEST: What's in the Temple of the Divine Dwarf?

Post by Graybeard »

ANNnnddd ... we have a winner! Two of them, actually. kaitou's contribution (above) and Sareth's, in the actual Volkanenborg thread, finish in a tie. Curious "artifacts" will be on the way to you two, if you can drop me a PM giving snail-mail addresses.
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