2013-04-10: [CT]Winding Down

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The Comment Golem
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2013-04-10: [CT]Winding Down

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Discussion thread for [CT]Winding Down
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Graybeard
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Re: 2013-04-10: [CT]Winding Down

Post by Graybeard »

Poe wrote:The dialog here feel really heavy handed reading it now. Though I do think the art in the first and second panels came out pretty well. Ian’s face in the third panel not so much though.
Two comments. First, the monologue ("dialog" implies that there are two people talking) looks generally OK to me in isolation; the only problem with it is that it's not entirely consistent with the way Ian's personality develops. I can easily hear my professorial father-in-law giving a monologue just like this (and also leaving Meji and Jon asleep at the end of it...), just as though he was lecturing a bunch of freshmen, barely even stopping to catch his breath. Ian, however, is not exactly "professorial" by nature. So I'd claim it isn't so much "heavy handed" as just incongruous.

Second, I don't see a problem with Ian's face in the third panel at all. To me it looks considerably more Ianish than, for example, the new images of the previous page. What am I missing?
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5Cats
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Re: 2013-04-10: [CT]Winding Down

Post by 5Cats »

Panel 2 is excellent! I love the "understatement" here.
Meji is conflicted: on the one hand she HATES lectures...
But she's really, very interested in the subject matter (and the speaker too)! And it has clearly captured her attention.
Jon meanwhile is carefully keeping an eye on Meji, he's still trying to figure out just HOW scary she really is. I don't think Jon suspects Ian is scary (as well) just yet...

Or it could be "just me"... :roll:
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