2013-09-10: [CT] Rambling

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2013-09-10: [CT] Rambling

Postby The Comment Golem » September 10th, 2013, 12:00 am

Discussion thread for [CT] Rambling
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Re: 2013-09-10: [CT] Rambling

Postby Neko7 » September 10th, 2013, 10:52 am

Errr... I have a problem with the 3 first panel here 1st and 3rd panel are ok, but the second panel, being one giant image, suggest ether to read 1st and 3rd first, then 2nd. OR to read 1st then 2nd completely (from top to bottom), then 3rd. Where the proper reading order is 1st, then top second, then 3rd, then bottom second.

The thing is, if the second panel image was kept as it is with just a "black border" line cutting it in two panel just under Jon chin, it would make it logical to read (1->2->3->4) without altering the art a major way.

Sorry, my little morning rant, hope you don't get upset about it.
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Re: 2013-09-10: [CT] Rambling

Postby erejnion » September 10th, 2013, 11:09 am

Nah, that'd look bad. I propose another method to hide Jon's collar: move that one problematic speech bubble more to the right.

Also, being Sarin is suffering. That being said, I should watch the two films at last.
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Re: 2013-09-10: [CT] Rambling

Postby Imp-Chan » September 10th, 2013, 12:15 pm

I struggled a lot with lettering this page, and what you see is the best I could come up with. I looked at splitting the panel, but it does look kindof weird, so that was out. I thought about having Poe draw two panels, but there really wasn't room for new art under the text in the invisible fourth panel area. The bubbles to the right side of the page can't really be moved farther right, because I have to allow for the trim on the pages at the printer (sometimes a printer will wind up cutting a page wrong and that goes in a handful of books without being caught, so keeping the text inside a safe zone keeps it legible even if the printer screws up). I could move Sarine's verbal facepalm to the right a bit, and I could also make it larger, which might reinforce the flow of the eye, but it doesn't quite fit with the flat tone I heard for that panel. Honestly, I debated even adding the emphasis on the "What?" part of the bubble there because it was important that the tone be dead and that sounded a little too excited, but I left it in the hope it would bring the attention to that bubble in the proper order. I wound up just counting on reading the page left to right to keep the flow of the conversation in the right order... but I'm open to suggestions on how to do it better, because I'm not happy with it, either.

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Re: 2013-09-10: [CT] Rambling

Postby Neko7 » September 11th, 2013, 4:38 am

Oky, this proposition is as subtle as doing brain surgery with a chainsaw axe while drunk and blinded but, hey, ain't hurting anyone to suggest it.

I love panel 3, it bring a bit of humor and fun to the page and it should be kept (in my opinion). But! It don't need to be "that" big: half the size, with the speech bubble unchanged, would carry the effect (wait, don't jump on me yet)

So... first: remove panel 3 completely (wait! wait...) and extend the art of panel 2 to covert the space left by panel 3 (we have an idea of the added art in panel 4)

Place 1/2 sized panel 3 On/In panel 2 on the right side of the panel, about the level of Jon/arm shoulder, with Sarine "... WHAT?" speech bubble going up-left instead of up-right

And then use the extra space freed by removing panel 3 for the panel 2.2 bubble (Sarine bubble being closer to panel 3 than Jon speech bubble).
( I don't think I can edit the basic idea and post it here, but hopefully you see what I mean)
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Re: 2013-09-10: [CT] Rambling

Postby Tortenschachtel » September 11th, 2013, 7:24 am

Neko7 wrote:Oky, this proposition is as subtle as doing brain surgery with a chainsaw axe while drunk and blinded but, hey, ain't hurting anyone to suggest it.

I love panel 3, it bring a bit of humor and fun to the page and it should be kept (in my opinion). But! It don't need to be "that" big: half the size, with the speech bubble unchanged, would carry the effect (wait, don't jump on me yet)

So... first: remove panel 3 completely (wait! wait...) and extend the art of panel 2 to covert the space left by panel 3 (we have an idea of the added art in panel 4)

Place 1/2 sized panel 3 On/In panel 2 on the right side of the panel, about the level of Jon/arm shoulder, with Sarine "... WHAT?" speech bubble going up-left instead of up-right

And then use the extra space freed by removing panel 3 for the panel 2.2 bubble (Sarine bubble being closer to panel 3 than Jon speech bubble).
( I don't think I can edit the basic idea and post it here, but hopefully you see what I mean)
Why not go all the way, make only one panel with Jon (like panel 2) and insert Sarine's face as small panels in the panel? Come to think of it, panel 4 could be kept as is.
On the other hand i don't have a problem with the reading order so i don't see a reason to change it anyways.
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Re: 2013-09-10: [CT] Rambling

Postby erejnion » September 12th, 2013, 12:31 pm

When thinking about it, my main problem is the speech tail. It's clear who is saying this "wat", but with this tail it feels out of place in the flow of the text in Jon's panel. If it didn't have a tail, I'd subconsciously count it towards the flow of the text, after which decision I'd connect mentally Sarine's panel with the "what?"

Her next bubble is without a tail, after all, so it seems out of place.
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