Airship Pirates, Chapter 1: Isabel

[liefone]

''Well, guess I should find out how this thing reacts to lightning!'' She said with a smile, moving her amulet up, sending a small stream of electrical energy straight to the source.

''You may want to hold on to something!''

OOC: Athon'yataoe thinks it might give more power, if it works how he thinks it does, speed could really pick up or, he could fry the engine...

[Arreksu]

[OOC: I'm hijacking the decision IN THE NAME OF COMEDY!]

"Ah've givin' err all she's got, cap'n!" Tom yelled into the speaker-tube, before pausing briefly to spit out the rag in his mouth and tried again. "Ahem, I mean, Miss Katie, I don't think she'll go much faster, ma'am, miss. Sorry. Miss."

Before Katie could reply, however, Tom's crush (Lionel? Lona. Liona?) piped in, mentioning something about lightning, but he couldn't hear; he was already getting wedged into a well-oiled hole by Yuri, pants on and everything, because some of the internal mechanisms in the engine was coughing funny. Dodging a cog that kept rotating very, very close to his head, he managed to bang on the offending bit with a wrench until it stopped being offensive and started being more... kind of misshapen. At least it was working again.

He stuck his head out just as Letoya yelled "Well, guess I should find out how this thing reacts to lightning," over the noise of the engine room. It took a moment for that to register in his feeble, a-little-high-on-fuel-fumes mind. "Wa--" he began.

"You may want to hold on to..."

"--aaaai--"

"...something!"

"--iit--"

There was a cataclysmic eruption of static electricity, a sound like shaking a million pieces of tin-foil in front of a microphone turned up to 11 and broadcast over all frequencies, including those not audible to human beings, half-elves, and probably elves, really. It seemed, for a brief moment to Tom, as if the entire world had just smacked the book of everything shut and hurled it across the room into his face.

A few moments later, and the engine room was awash with electricity still sizzling about in little arcs of blue lightning, and Tom's clothing was literally being held off his skin by the sheer rigidity of what little body hair he possessed. his hair was up on edge and the filthy chef's hat he'd procured from somewhere and was still wearing was impaled on a spike of his no-longer-adorably-tussled mop.

Yuri was nowhere to be seen.

Tom very calmly tried to flatten his hair down, failed miserably, nearly losing a finger, and ambled over to the speaker-tubes, a bit dazed. "Erhm," he said, clearing his throat. There was a loud pop as the speaker-phone sparked to his hand in an enormous burst of static electricity that barely made him flinch. "Miss? I think we managed a little more energy, ma'am, but the bad news is, the boost cost us the engine for a bit until Mister Yuri can come down from the rafter and help me crank up the emergency start, miss. Also, miss, I know it's not a great time and everything, but I'd like to tender my resignation as Machinist's Mate Second Class. I don't think I'm up for it anymore, ma'am, I'm ever so sorry. Anyway, engine room, out."

He then sat down for a few moments to weep before getting a ladder to help Yuri down.

[liefone]

Leana's hair, all frizzly standing up, small bursting of lightning spurting of her amulet, bursts into laughter;

''Hahahahahaahahah! I can't believe it's been how long it's been since I felt a good shocking!''

''I found out how the engine reacts!'' She shouts at the speaker, still laughing.

After a few more minutes of uncontrolled laughter,Leana asks: ''Was that enough power?'' on the speakers.

[Graybeard]

[OOC:

[OOC: I'm hijacking the decision IN THE NAME OF COMEDY!]

You did the right thing. /OOC:]

As the echoes of the lightning died away, a familiar effluvium was emanating from the pants of the large gunner who was manning the artillery piece that Rip had sought shelter under. Well, can't say I really blame him, Rip thought, then turned to help the man. "Ah, hold still, I've got a spell that'll, well, clean things up. Nobody will ever know. Just grab onto something to stabilize yourself, we might still be in for a rough ride."

The man grimaced and did as he was told, and Rip started to cast ...

... Not noticing that the piece of cord the man had grabbed onto was the cannon's lanyard.

Fire flared at the front of the cannon, and a BOOOOOMMMM echoed through the ship ... and Rip was pretty sure that the pair of pants he was helping deodorize wasn't the only full one on board now.

[Sareth]

[OOC]Oh my god that was bleeding brilliant! loved it![/OOC]

For a moment there was silence from the other end of the speaking tube. Then there was the sound of swearing. Then there was the sound of Katie's voice declaring, "Tiny, if you don't get your fat ass off of me in two seconds, I swear to god, I will shove this entire airship up and and open up every helium tank we got." This was immediately followed by the sound of panic, charts, chairs, and an inexplicably placed goat being tossed about in the effort of Tiny not to discover if Katie could get the entire airship up his rectum, or only most of it. Finally, a shockingly sweet and pleasant voice came on.

"Hello Engine Room. This is the first mate of this lovely airship speaking. I would like to thank you for informing us of what happens when a little stray voltage is applied to our darling engines. It was most educational. I would also like to inform you that if that ever occurs again I WILL SKULLF*CK EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU WITH TINY'S D"

This statement ended prematurely with a sudden sideways lurch from the airship and the sound of things flying about on the bridge for a second time. After a moment passed, there was an ominous "TiiiiiiNNNNYYYYYYYYY?" And a "YES MA'AM! GIANT PHALLIC SHAPED AIRSHIP AND KIESTER MA'AM! MOVING MA'AM!"

"What was that?" Katie asked.

"Sorry, Ma'am," the aft crow's nest called, a sound that could be heard owing to the engine room speaking tube still being open. "It looks like the Queen Alice snagged on a tree when that stray cannonball shot away one of the grappling ropes."

"She wha... Wait... The Queen Alice?" Katie's surprise was clear. "But I never ordered the ropes out, and we were only jolted for a few seconds..."

"Well, the grappling hooks and three airmen fell out with the jolt, and snagged the airbag nicely as we roared past at about 200 knots."

There was a stunned silence.

"Reaaaaaally..." Katie sound pleased. "RIP!" Katie called out loud enough to not need the speaking tubes. "Take those engine rats of yours and run them down to the Queen Alice! I want to know her condition!"

[liefone]

''200 knots, is that a lot?'' Leana says into the speaker with a innocent voice...

[Graybeard]

"Yes," Rip said as he arrived back in the engine room, where most of the previous crew were cowering under whatever was convenient. He devoutly wished he could join them. Kattie's orders had been clear, though ... Aha. "In fact, it's too fast. We'll need to worry about the structural integrity of the ship. It's kind of my job to do that, so I might not be able to join you down there. Suggest you get tooled up and ready to go." He nodded to a convenient large wrench, which looked just about right for braining someone with if it came to that. Of course, anyone who could produce a surge of electricity like that wasn't likely to need a blunt instrument to do damage with ...

"... Please?"

[liefone]

''You want me an the cook to determine the condition of the vessel, I doubt I could do that, no training with engineering.'' Leana replies, then she turns to Tom and says:

''Hey cook, you can determine the condition of that ship can't ye? Oh, and if the engine reacts how it did to lightning, how do you s'ppose the guns would react?'' She says with a chuckle.

[Graybeard]

[OOC: Gonna "recruit" a long-inactive PC for this. Xzen-the-player, if you're around, by all means feel free to come back and rescue him...]

Rip felt, rather than heard, Kattie's rumble at the thought of those two children going down to the airship unescorted. Who knew she'd have such a soft spot for the young and innocent? Or, for that matter, for the young and guilty? "All right," he sighed. "I guess it's the three of us ... Wait, four."

Xzen had picked a somewhat inopportune time to pass by, whimpering.

"And don't you even think about what lightning might do to the guns," he told Leana as they headed for the hatch that would lead down to the gangplank.

[liefone]

''Why do people always try to ruin my fun, first I can't see how dwarf tech reacts to it, then I can't see how humans react to it, now guns! When will the oppression end!'' Leana begins ranting ''I only broke three humans before...'' She grumbles following Rip.