Return to Port Lorrel

[Graybeard]

The priest gave the sheep a long, speculative look; at the moment, Plan B wasn't looking so bad after all. Then he got back to the matter at hand, and with a deft bit of sleight of hand, switched the drugged booze for what had been placed in front of Jamie and Tamina ...

... Just in time for a good shot of it to be poured.

By the kobold.

[Jack Rothwell]

Tamina slugged the drink back hurredly, still very much aware of Jaime pointing out that she'd been two behind.

"Tastes a little different each time too." She added. "Funny... kobold drinks always taste the same every drink." She giggled, the second shot had really gone to her head. "Maybe the next one tastes of... of..."

She stopped mid-sentence and froze still. She appeared to be staring in slack-jawed amazement at Jaime's hair.

"Was you... did you... umm... can you do...magic?" She said tonelessly. "Hairs...ummm.... wriggling."

OOC Maybe a less conservative reaction to the drug on a kobold's metabolism might be a little more entertaining.../OOC

[Sareth]

Jamie stared at Tamina a moment, then down at the drink she was holding. "Ooooookay? This is not the usual result. Someone must have slipped you a micky."

The girl turned to the server. "What in the world did you slip into... YOU!" Jamie pointed an accusing finger at the woebegotten priest. "What's with you, you got a catgirl fetish? You are NOT having your way with her!"

And then things got really weird.

[Jack Rothwell]

Tamina, pretty much oblivious to what was going on around her by this point, glanced downwards, let out a noise that was best approximated as a squeak, then pulled her legs off the ground. They pinwheeled on the edge of the seat as the kobold let out a hummingbird speed babble in her native tounge.

<"Bees! Oh Gods! The horrible, creeping bees!">

She scrambled up til she was sitting on the back of the chair and then, deciding that the creeping bees weren't going to leave her alone, jumped straight upwards and seized the wooden chandelier above her, clinging to it like a sloth on a caffeine drip. From her upsidedown position she called to Jaime, forgetting in her panic to switch back to 'yoo-man' speak. Her pinprick pupils reflected a mind that was halfway between delirium and terror.

<"Jay-me! Get your snaky hair up here!">

[Graybeard]

Afterward, the priests would reflect that all the weirdness might have been contained if it hadn't been for the parrot.

As soon as Tamina started to freak out, recruitment of Jamie became, at most, the second most important thing on the first priest's mind. Getting this peculiar, frenzied creature under control came first. "No!" he said. "That wasn't supposed to be for you! It was supposed to be for --" It occurred to him, however, that he couldn't finish the sentence without giving the game away. He looked around to try to find a pigeon ...

... And found a parrot. Specifically, the parrot that was still attached to the shoulder of the large one-eyed man, snoring peacefully atop an occupied table.

"HIM!" the priest shouted, and poured the remainder of the doctored hooch over the bird. Surely that couldn't do any harm, could it? He turned his attention back to Tamina, trying to get her calmed down while his colleague found another resource in the recruitment kit (i.e., the blackjack).

It wasn't until he heard a loud "RRAAAAWK!" from behind him that it occurred to him that dousing the parrot might not have been a good idea.

The effects of potions on familiars, to be sure, were ... unexplored territory. Who was to know that the one-eyed man had been a mage in Tsuirakushiti, now down on his luck and an expatriate? With a magically enhanced parrot familiar?

A parrot that was now growing muscles, claws, horns and fangs. Oh, those fangs ...

And it was pissed.

[Sareth]

Jamie took a look at Tamina hanging from the chandelier. "Tamina, you really need to"

"RRAAAAWK!"

"make room for me." The girl grabbed Nera and leaped up to grab the chandelier one handed, where she dangled. She suddenly realized a slight problem with the situation. "I can't climb one handed! Quick, take Nera! Don't worry, she's not a flaming monkey or anything."

[Jack Rothwell]

From her crazed mind's-eye Tamina saw the pair on the chandelier as a madly cackling medusa-woman holding a drooling trollish-child that reached towards her face with sharpened claws. With nowhere left to go and full of too much terror to do anything but what the woman asked the kobold took the monster child, held her at arm's length, then curled into a ball on her perch and whimpered; the chandelier swung gently to and fro from the shaking of the kobold's body.

Back in reality, Nera made a cooing noise and a ran a pudgy hand in a stroking motion over Tamina's fur.

[Graybeard]

"I ... think we'd better get out of here," the first priest said, no longer being particularly subtle about edging his way back to the other one.

The monster parrot beastie [OOC: everybody gets the reference, right? /OOC:] was looking around, blood in its eye, trying to figure out whom to brutalize. The priests thought it seemed like a pretty good idea to remove themselves from the list of candidates. So did most of the clientele of the bar. (Most of that clientele, of course, weren't carrying a 7-month-old baby around.) They found themselves swept along by the tide of humanity, finally washing up in the street to the sounds of "RRAAAWK! RRAAAWK!" emanating from the bar.

The second priest looked at the first. "That didn't go so well, did it?"

"Uh, no," the first one replied. "Maybe we can still make it work, though. Should we go back in there and just cold-cock the virgin?"

Puzzlement swept across the second priest's face, then comprehension dawned. "Oh. With the blackjack."

[Sareth]

Jamie quickly climbed up beside Tamina. She hooked her arms around the chain, a leg around the kobold, and grinned. "Now things are getting exciting! How are you feeling?"

Before Tamina could respond, the Uberparrot noticed Tamina and Jamie. It narrowed it's eyes and gave a loud screech.

"Hold that thought," Jamie replied. "Hey, parrot! You don't feel like causing little ol' us problems, do you?"

"RRAAAWK!"

"Right." Jamie shrugged. "Leave it to those crazy wizards to take the only talking animal on the planet and make it into a familiar that does not talk."

The bird launched itself into the air straight at the trio in the lighting. With a grin, Jamie launched herself right back with clear disregard for what her landing might entail. "Be right back."

[Graybeard]

The two priests dusted themselves off, looked at the bar with the parrot noises coming out of it, at each other, back at the bar.

The first priest shook his head. "I don't know that we're that hard up for a virgin. I mean, Mount Cromulent probably won't blow up if we don't bring back a live one. What do you think?"

A particularly loud "RRAAWK!" <thwack!> echoed from the bar as the second man considered his answer. He shook his head slowly. "I don't think so either. I think it's back to Plan B."

"You mean ..."

"Right. Let's go find a sheep."

The two men left the scene.

[OOC: Feel free to conduct the fight with the nasty bird however you see fit. These guys are outta here. Of course, Elke's henchmen are still around somewhere...]