Goriel and beyond, part 2

[Graybeard]

"She died simply by being told to."

Therese might have paled slightly under her hat, or she might not have. "I thought as much," she said, her voice still tightly controlled. "When I -- we found her body, not a mark was on it." She didn't need to say that she knew that body very well.

She also didn't need to ask how Argus and his son-in-law had discovered that Blaise had that capability. What had to be said was the next part. "This Convergence, whoever they are -- they want to make more people who have that power. And control them. They must be stopped."

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OOC: I don't think Rose has anything more to say until near banquet time, unless someone else moves the ball in that sub-thread.

[Alberich]

Anfisa drank in Desiree's tale of her homeland uncritically. When you've made love to an angel, are you surprised that she comes from heaven?

"But... what do you do when your asignation for the evening leaves you unsatisfied? Back home, we take care of one another, even if it's just practice. Or some perfer to practice alone using carven tools."

For this one, she made eye contact, at least part of the time. "We have our own fingers," she said, "And our dreams." She looked around, though of course no one would be in here. She whispered, "And Dina has a foreign pillow-book that she hides." She didn't mention, and probably didn't know, that the book was a vintage Tsuirakuan work - explicit for its time and target audience, though as nothing to what that country produced these days.

A few more probing questions brought out that Anfisa wasn't really afraid of being tortured or executed for her ways. Not so long as she kept out of men's business. A man who let himself be penetrated might end up dead, because his family wouldn't consider him worth defending, and then he'd be fair game for the others. A getera who stepped too far outside the obscure bounds of propriety would most likely lose only her status, and return to the other "kept women." But for Anfisa, and for any getera, that was absolutely frightening. One reason Irina insisted that the girls here look out for each other was her knowledge that many of the other women wouldn't - some indeed would take too much joy in a fallen getera. But even Irina's rules had their limits, and stepping outside them - this is what frightened Anfisa. The limits weren't written or known, and the usual way was to stay so far inside them that there was no risk of stepping over. But passion had done what passion always does. So she couldn't know where she stood just now, and would just have to wait to find out.

Still, in explaining that the risk wasn't as great as Desiree thought, Anfisa was playing a soothing role, which came naturally to her. Kneeling on the bed, she had one hand on Desiree's shoulder and the other stroking her hair as she tried to calm her fears. And in giving calm, she got some herself. Her breathing was back to normal.

[OOC: You don't know how close I came to giving her a tattoo shaped like a flying blue pony...but having tattoos at all seemed out of character.]

[OOC2: Right - I think we need only Tim's and Eli's afternoon business, and then we can move that group to the Yurkashev feast, unless someone else has something else. Tim's on orders to stick with Eli and he wants to obey them anyway - in fact he's pretty dedicated on that point.]

[Graybeard]

OOC:

[OOC2: Right - I think we need only Tim's and Eli's afternoon business, and then we can move that group to the Yurkashev feast, unless someone else has something else. Tim's on orders to stick with Eli and he wants to obey them anyway - in fact he's pretty dedicated on that point.]

We need to let Therese and Argus (and Brad) finish their conversation, too. Over to you for that, D; I think we can wrap it up in another two or three exchanges.

[Drusia]

"We have our own fingers," she said, "And our dreams."
The limits weren't written or known, so she couldn't know where she stood just now, and would just have to wait to find out.
Anfisa was playing a soothing role, one hand on Desiree's shoulder and the other stroking her hair as she tried to calm her fears. And in giving calm, she got some herself. Her breathing was back to normal.

I was more concerned for her than myself - after all, these people don't want to offend my "clan" by harming me, but Anfisa has no such defense - but at least she won't be murdered outright. I'd hate to cost her her position as a getera, though.

Well, no, that's a lie. I want her to come with us. What I don't want is her to suffer because of something I did.

I formulate a plan. Likely a kept woman's disappearance would be less notable than a getera's. If she is demoted, then I might be able to help her flee to my 'clan' for protection. If she isn't - if the others keep our secret - then it doesn't matter. She can continue on here, as she wishes.

... although I'm making a big assumption. I thought she was happier here, with other lovers who came and went with the getera exchanges. It seems I was mistaken. Do I really want to let her doom herself to never being truly happy? Or am I being presumptive? I am. I may not approve of this life, but if she is happy here... I can't decide this for her.

"Before," I say softly, "You said you have your dreams." I stroke her face gently. "What are your dreams, Anfisa?"

-- Desiree

[Alberich]

Anfisa prattled a bit more, a little shyly and evasively, 'til it was clear that in context the "dreams" she meant were sexual fantasies to bring her solitary satisfaction, sometimes involving the man she'd just been with actually doing what she wanted, sometimes another girl she was too shy to approach. But when Desiree asked further, about her dreams for the future, she became very shy indeed. Desiree could learn more by pressing, but did she want to press? The hours were fleeting.

[Drusia]

Anfisa prattled a bit more, a little shyly and evasively, but when Desiree asked further, about her dreams for the future, she became very shy indeed.

"I'll tell you mine," I say softly, "But afterwards, you have to tell me yours." She nods shyly, watching me curiously.

I think for a moment. How to put this. I don't think I've ever said it aloud before. And it certainly needs some translation for this place. Or... well, maybe not.

"I want... I dream... of being the heroine in some great and epic romance," I tell Anfisa softly. "Not just any romance - a romance that somehow... matters. That affects the very world. I want to be a tool of the gods, shaping their will. There are these... stories I've read. Like the pillow book Dina has, but with other things too - great adventures, and great events... all poised on the actions of a single... getera." I mean cortessan, or priestess - or both at once - but here, getera is as close as I can say.

"I want to be that getera," I say with a sigh. "Not the greatest getera, but... a destined getera. I want more than love... I want a love granted me by the goddess. I want to feel her will - not just her presence, her will - guiding me into a lover's arms."

Anfisa is staring at me. I blush. "I know, it's silly. I want to be a story book character. But... it's true. That's my dream. I... spend so much time with men who don't matter. Who I dont' love. I guess I just want it to mean something."

My mother has tales like that - about how a man she loved caused her to found Snamish, or how a woman she loved caused her to save Santuariel. And there are stories and books from Tsuiraku and other parts of the Northern Territories with great romances like that. A young couple, star-crossed, defying all for love... and how their actions change the world. A kingdom falls, a war is won, a treaty solidified. I grew up reading these stories, hearing them... and as much as I know they're just stories, I can feel... I can feel Anilis's presence in them, and I can't help but believe they're true too. Plus, I know my mother lived through a few herself.

I've... never told that to anyone. Not even Kenny. I'm not sure I could have put it in words back then. I'm not sure I've quite done it now - I feel like what I said is all jumbled and confusing. Hopefully Anfisa understands it.

"Your turn," I say, covering my embarassment.

-- Desiree

[Alberich]

Anfisa's upbringing did include stories - what country is without them? - but the ones for girls were not of the adventurous- romantic temper Desiree knew best. The situations themselves might be fantastic, but if the central characters were human girls, the upshot was always that virtue and meekness were the way to reward.

[OOC: German stories like "The Clever Elfe" or Russian stories like "Father Frost" are the sort of thing.]

Anfisa drank in Desiree's dream-talk, first kneeling before her on the bed, then lying on her side, letting the voice and the words pour over her. Had she really understood them all? Maybe not, but she caught the tone. And all too soon it was her turn.

She had much trouble meeting Desiree's gaze, but a promise was a promise after all, so she came at it indirectly, tracing patterns on the bedsheets as she talked. "My only dreams here, they were just to be a getera, the way I am, and rise up to Irina's level, and treat the girls nice the way she does, and not let them cut each other or throw them out in the street, or get them punished and sent back to the other girls..." - there was more like that; it was pretty clear she hadn't actually given any thought to her "retirement," that being an unimaginable ten whole years or even more in the future. If she behaved. But all her talk of dreams so far was past tense. It was easy to see there was more. Desiree looked at her expectantly. She looked down so hard she crushed her chin into her chest.

"Now I can't remember my old dreams at all - now my dream is tonight being forever" - that part was in her softest whisper yet, and Desiree had to get her to repeat it. "Tonight being forever!" Then in haste, as if afraid to be misread - "Not just what we've done, all the lovely things you do to me, and how it all feels..." - her arms snaked out and pulled her to Desiree's waist. "But it's you and staying with you and lying next to you and listening to your dreams. I want to hear your tales of adventure. I want...I want to sing your songs in the scholar's tongue, and learn them night and day. I want to know all about the pearls, and the rubies and the garnets and whatever else you know, and I want to learn them from you and I don't ever want to stop."

She clutched tighter but still did not look up.

"I love you."

Now that she'd gotten the words out, her body relaxed, and she was tracing her patterns on Desiree's thigh as she said them again and again.

[Drannin]

Argus shivered. What Therese describes was... terrifying. They could barely handle one person with such power. An army... Would be devastating.

"Then it seems we have a common interest," he said quietly.

[Graybeard]

"We do," Therese echoed, as quietly as Argus had said it the first time.

Looking uncomfortable, Brad interrupted. "Um, my lord -- er, Argus?" Somehow it didn't seem necessary to maintain the clan-chief charade at the moment, since this peculiar woman had already figured it out for what it was. "We'd probably better go get ready for the feast tonight." He explained the group's social commitment, as best he could, to Therese.

She nodded somberly. "Yes, your absence from that would be taken as a grave offense." Was "grave" as meaningful in this context as it might be taken to be? Probably. "I trust you will understand that I cannot join you there. But we need to talk again. Here." She handed him the bracelet she'd taken from the woman she'd rescued yesterday. Then she muttered a spell, and the bracelet glowed momentarily with magic. (Her gray eyes were showing signs of fatigue; neither this nor the damping spell came as easily to her as they would to a specialist. However, her spellcasting should be done for the day, she thought -- hoped.) "This will guide you to a place where we can talk. Come tomorrow, mid-morning, and may the Five Great Mothers protect you until then -- protect us all."

[OOC: So on to the banquet? Or do Tim and Eli still have something to do? If they don't, then let's fast-forward.]

[Drusia]

"Now I can't remember my old dreams at all - now my dream is tonight being forever" - that part was in her softest whisper yet, and Desiree had to get her to repeat it. "Tonight being forever!" Then in haste, as if afraid to be misread - "Not just what we've done, all the lovely things you do to me, and how it all feels..." - her arms snaked out and pulled her to Desiree's waist. "But it's you and staying with you and lying next to you and listening to your dreams. I want to hear your tales of adventure. I want...I want to sing your songs in the scholar's tongue, and learn them night and day. I want to know all about the pearls, and the rubies and the garnets and whatever else you know, and I want to learn them from you and I don't ever want to stop."

That's... what I was afraid of. Anfisa was content before... and I've shown her a glimpse of real happiness. It isn't even necessarily me she wants - although I'd have a hard time convincing her of that at the moment. Now I have to do something about this.

She clutched tighter but still did not look up.
"I love you."
Now that she'd gotten the words out, her body relaxed, and she was tracing her patterns on Desiree's thigh as she said them again and again.

I kiss her to stop her from speaking. When I let her up to breathe, I get a word in edgewise.

"I love you too," I reply. It's the truth, although not anything like the whole truth - however, I don't think I love you a little bit would really do for what I'm about to say next.

"I... I need to tell you a secret," I say softly. "My Clan... they aren't here for airships or investing. They're here looking for one man. An enemy who fled here. I was sent here because it was hoped that I might hear something about this man... Blaize, he's called. If I hear a rumor of his location, I am to send word." Her eyes widen - probably because she knows how I would be punished if her clan learned of this.

"Once they find him and kill him, we'll be leaving here and returning home," I continue, making sure to keep my voice so low that it can't be heard by anyone else but Anfisa. "My clan won't ever return here. So... if you are willing to risk all and come with us, they will never be able to get you back. You will be welcome in my clan - if I can get you to them, they will protect you and I both."

"I wasn't going to tell you this if you were happy here," I add quickly, blushing. "I didn't want you to be in any danger. But... I also didn't mean for this to happen. I can't bear the thought of breaking your heart by leaving you to a life that you yourself have said will never make you happy again." If I'd known she'd never been with a woman - if I'd known how she was longing for someone like me to come into her life, I probably wouldn't have seduced her. Or let her seduce me - both at once, really. Whatever.

"If you don't want to take the risk, I understand that too," I tell her. "If we are caught in this... it will be bad, very bad. I will try my best to protect you, but I am not very skilled at protection. And we should not attempt anything until the time comes for me to be traded back to my clan - or until I learn of Blaize's location."

I wonder if it would be easier to rescue her as a kept woman, or a getera. If she could somehow lose her position just as I was being sent home... her clan would be less likely to pursue us for a kept woman than a getera, after all. Then again, getera seem to have the run of this place after dark. It is unsafe to venture outside the zenana, but clearly possible. Never mind - talk now, plan later.

I kiss her again to calm her. And I await her answer.

-- Desiree