2011-06-13: Psionics

[Viking-Sensei]

Dan and Poe. DM Dan (our group's longest serving DM) suffered through a continent-wide bout of pyromania, the assassination of a Nick Teen pop star, us using bard college students as the targeting system for intercontinental ballistic tree-missiles, and the frequent abduction (and forced slavery) of multiple NPCs. As DM, Poe had to suffer through Impy and I hijacking his carefully planned out story arc and deciding that we were the stars of Leverage, backed up by my character's insanely high bluff skills and tendency to roll natural 20s while telling the most absurd lies I could think of.

[RGE]

Oh. In the games I've been in, it's been the DMs who have wanted my characters to do crazy things, and my characters who have refused. I tend to play characters who have a will to live, and that sometimes conflicts with the DMs will to see characters follow the plot.

[Imp-Chan]

Dan and Poe. DM Dan (our group's longest serving DM) suffered through a continent-wide bout of pyromania, the assassination of a Nick Teen pop star, us using bard college students as the targeting system for intercontinental ballistic tree-missiles, and the frequent abduction (and forced slavery) of multiple NPCs. As DM, Poe had to suffer through Impy and I hijacking his carefully planned out story arc and deciding that we were the stars of Leverage, backed up by my character's insanely high bluff skills and tendency to roll natural 20s while telling the most absurd lies I could think of.

I think the hilarious running wild of that particular game was compounded by the fact that the third player's character was a changeling with an equally ridiculous bluff skill (he'd previously infiltrated a gang of bad guys and very nearly made the boss actually BELIEVE him when he attacked full force then called out, "Sorry sir, I missed!" to imply he hadn't really been trying to kill the boss), and mine was just plain immoral (except for the occasionally hilarious internet feminism she displayed). Mine couldn't bluff terribly well (sneaking around and hitting things with lightning were more her speed), but by god she could tell the truth to create a perfect opening, and she had a great understanding of her teammates. The best part was when she legitimately surrendered, allowing her teammates to turn it into a sneak attack. I also thought it was great when they rendered her speechless by suggesting she play "the arm candy." It was such a perfect RP moment.

Man, I miss that campaign. We should bring it back to life, though where you go from stealing two airships in one fell swoop I'm not entirely sure.

^-^'

[Viking-Sensei]

I want a button that says "I want to hit it with my brain."

[mindstalk]

I'm inclined to think that having a plot is a GM's first mistake. Set up a world with NPCs with goals who'll do things and react to PC actions and let things go from there; "plot" would be "what would happen if the PCs don't do anything".

[davester65]

I used to think the gaming group I've belonged to for the last 25+ years was the most dysfunctional bunch of f**kups in the world. But, between this, Order of The Stick, The Gamers and Knights of The Dinner Table I now realize we aren't just par for the course, we're down right staid.

Edit:

I want a button that says "I want to hit it with my brain."

I second this.

[Sareth]

Most of the groups I've been a player in have been pretty good at not getting too out there (although there is the story about blowing a raspberry on a troll's stomach...) However, I did have one (short lived) group that was... special.

I was deployed to Afghanistan for the first time. Having been deployed other locations before I know how cthulhu-level insane you can get from being bored off your ass 98% of the time (and terrified the remaining 2%). Thus I had brought a few basic AD&D books with me in the thought I might find a few people interested in playing. To my chagrin (after the fact) I did.

A few of the guys in the unit had heard about the books. They had never done a table top RP before, but figured that it beat being bored. They asked me to run a game.

I had them get some fairly basic and normal characters (a fighter, a barbarian, a thief, and a wizard as I recall.) Then I had a local town ask them to investigate reports that, in the nearby wood, a band of Drow had emerged and were living above ground. The group went into the woods, discovered that this was a small band of Drow who had renounced their kindred and were now attempting to live like their fairer cousins.

It was at this point the players decided they were bored with being good guys. They announced their decision to work for the bad guys. No problem. I can do evil.

So they packed up without even reporting back to the villagers (who were supposed to reject the Drow's claims). They wandered off to the nearest decent sized town and looked up a cabal of evil wizards and offered their services.

The wizards agreed and gave them their first task: eliminate a couple living on the edge of town who had been causing problems for the cabal.

Eagerly the group hurried off. At last! Combat! Action! Excitement!

When they arrived they discovered that the "troublesome" couple were, in fact, an elderly couple who kept quietly to themselves and didn't even know there was a cabal of dark wizards in town. (Have I mentioned I can do evil?)

So the group gives the elderly couple a pretty good bit of coin and tells them to flee. They then dig graves and fill them in again with no one in the place, help the couple pack their things, and then light the house in fire.

Then they return to the wizards and report mission accomplished.

Without even thinking that maybe this was a test.

With a hidden someone proctoring it by watching.

And that the wizards know that they had not only failed, they had cheated and still failed.

(I have mentioned I do evil, right?)

So the group asks for their next job. The head of the cabal doesn't call them out or such. He simply congratulates them for their fine work and instructs them to eliminate a rival group of dark wizards the next town over.

The group thinks a moment, and then decides they don't quite have the firepower needed to take on a rival group as they are (reasonable thinking, being they were all of level 2.) They quite bald facedly tell the wizard that if they're going to do this task, they're going to need some better gear. Wouldn't that be a good reward for the work they've already done?

Takes balls to ask for special gear from an evil wizard you just lied to. I got to give them that.

Well, the head of the cabal thinks a moment then agrees, asking them what they want. He will give them one item each.

Well, the fighter wants an item that gives him much greater strength in combat. The Barbarian wants a better fortitude. The thief thinks it would be awesome to be a dead shot with a crossbow. And the wizard wants to be able to loot entire kingdoms without having to stop half way through for lack of space.

So they get what they want. Or so they think.

(I've been told I can be rather evil.)

So they leave town heading to the next town over chortling over how they got such sweet items from the wizards (and the GM) through their cleverness, never thinking that just maybe the cabal is trying to kill two birds with one stone by sending these idiots to kill a few rival wizards before being squished like bugs by the rather powerful, vengeful, and EVIL survivors.

Then they run into a random encounter of bandits. They eagerly rush into combat, since it's their first real combat! Yay!

And then things go to Hell. The fighter keeps dropping his sword (gauntlets of clumsiness), then taking damage when he takes the time to pick it up while in melee. The thief keeps sneezing every time he starts aiming (oak crossbow that curses it's user with an allergy to oak). But hey! The wizard is doing just fine, and the Barbarian is an absolute machine, dealing death like a pro.

Thanks to the wizard and the barbarian the bandits are soon dead or fleeing. The group all celebrates for a few seconds, right until I tell the Barbarian to give me an attack roll. Confused, he does. I then tell the fighter to take several points of damage.

"WHAT?"

"The barbarian just attacked you."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"... No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No. I. Didn't."

"I'm the DM. I'm also the ranking NCO in the room. Yes you did."

"... Gawdammit."

After a fight leading to the barbarian (helm of uncontrollable berserking) to do further injuries to the fighter, the group manages to finally knock out and subdue the barbarian. They have no idea what just happened, so they decide that until they can figure it out, he needs to be kept on ice for everyone else' safety.

So they dump him into the wizard's Bag of Holding Bag of DEVOURING.

Later they decide to get him out. So they open the bag and look inside. Funnily enough they can't see him in the bag.

So the thief volunteers to go look for him. He jumps on in. And doesn't come out.

After a bit, the wizard and the fighter decide it's time to Do Something. So they decide to send the fighter in with one end of a rope tied around his waist, while the wizard stays outside with the other end tied to his.

That's right. They decided to make the WEAKEST guy in the group the anchor man who might have to haul all three of the others out if it proves that the problem is that the bottom of the bag is too far away.

The fighter gets half way inside... and suddenly discovers that he is being CHEWED ON and DRAGGED IN by the teeth of the bag of devouring. He starts screaming up a storm. But with his legs already inside he has no real traction and continues to get sucked in.

The Wizard decides this may be a good time to try to pull the fighter back out. He then engages in a battle of strength, his vs. the bag.

Yeah... Right.

The bag sucks the fighter the rest of the way in, then proceeds to slurp the rope in like a spaghetti noodle. Within seconds the wizard is gone too.

Yep. TPK. Total Party Kill. And I didn't have to lift a finger to do it. That was aaaaaaall them.

How is this related to the comic?

...

...

...

Dammit. I can't remember. I had a point but I spent so much time writing this that I forgot.

Ah... Hell with it.

[JirinPanthosa]

Ha! That's hilarious.

The worst I had to deal with when I DMed was severe munchkindom.

There was this one guy who would plume through obscure books for low level spells that could be used in unintended ways. This one level two spell Ride The Wind which gives you effectively zero weight was intended to be used on party members willingly, so there's no saving throw. So he decided he could use this to instantly remove all enemies from the battlefield. I tell him no, it's a 'willing target' spell, and he starts rules lawyering me about it.

I think it's about striking a balance. You need a situation with an interesting story in mind, but plans that are flexible and respond to the characters' actions.

One time I had one of the characters inflicted with this jewel that automatically inducted him into an assassin game with massive rewards, and then suddenly there were ten NPCs trying to hunt him down. This was a relentlessly good-aligned party so they ended up making an alliance with other unwilling contestants and actually honoring it.

I also made up my own playable races including a predatorial snake-tailed race.

Man I miss DMing.

[Viking-Sensei]

@JirinPanthosa

So... what was that again? Ride the Wind... (writes that down) And how did he attempt to justify using it the way he wanted to? This may come up later.

[JirinPanthosa]

Yeah, I think it was in the Wizard's Handbook or something. Maybe 'Spells & Magic'. Basically it's a spell that makes you so light that you get pushed around by the wind. It was intended as a 'Willing target' spell, so it had no saving throw, and it had short but non-touch range. So he thought, cast it on an enemy, and if there's any wind at all they will be immediately blown off the battlefield.